This may be my most controversial piece. This book has been lauded as the book that saved YA novels and has been highly praised throughout the world. It tells the tale of two teenagers that are suffering from cancer and the story of their doomed love. This book has a huge fandom and a film to boot. Well screw that, I HATED this book. This is one of the most horrible books I have ever read and I have read some God awful books that read like someone vomited on the page. For crying out loud, I’ve read Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey! Yet this book enraged me more. I am dead serious, at least those two have the excuse of being the author’s wank fest and they are too stupid to see the horrific messages they portrayed, they just wanted TEH HAWTEST GUY EVAR!!1!11 This book is about children with terminal cancer and the messages are appalling but the characters are probably some of the worst I have ever read.

So why review a book that has been out for a few years? Well I did know of this book when it came out as one of my roommates suggested I read it as she loved it. I declined when I heard the basic plot as sick lit as never been my thing and thought it would be too depressing. Oh this book is depressing, alright, but for all the wrong reasons. So why now? Morbid curiosity got the better of me after I started my quest of reading highly popular books. After I finished this book, I tried to find negative reviews but there a very few and they are fairly short. So I thought I would vent my feelings and/or rage and go into exactly why I hated this book.

Before we start, I want to say that if you love this book and don’t like hearing a bad word against it then don’t read this review as I really don’t want to be accused of being a heartless bitch. We are all entitled to love and hate certain books and because this book is about the difficult topic of child cancer does not mean that this book and its characters should be immune from criticism. Also just to warn you this post is exceptionally long and full of spoilers.

*Sigh* Let’s get started shall we? Normally I would start with the plot but well I’m not going to discuss the plot by itself, I want to discuss it via the characters so this review is also a recap as there is just so much to discuss but it needs to be done via the analysis of Hazel and Augustus. So let’s jump to that!

The first character discuss is our first person narrator: Hazel Grace Lancaster. I’m just going to say this now before I explain and give my evidence for how I feel about our protagonist. I hate this character!! She is the worst YA protagonist I have ever read and I am including Bella Swan in this. Yes, I find that she is worse than the idiocy and rage inducing bitch that is Bella Swan. Bella is detestable but at least I am able to say I can’t stand her and hey! Many of her fans can’t stand her useless self either. Hazel is a pretentious, arrogant and nasty piece of work but unlike Bella I am not meant to have a bad word about her because she has cancer. Having cancer does not give Hazel any excuse to treat people the way she does. She is supposedly selfless but she I can assure she is not. I’m sure you guys want reasons? Of course you do! So I shall give them to you and I will be going through her character via the plot.

In the beginning, Hazel is understandably depressed due to her condition as she was diagnosed with terminal thyroid cancer that has spread to her lungs but her condition is stable due to a miracle cancer drug but she does need an oxygen tank. Even though she doesn’t want to she does go to her Cancer Support group for young people. Her detestable character starts shining immediately. To access the group, you have the choice between the stairs and the lift. Well the lift is for dying people according to Hazel so she will drag her tank up and down the stairs to prove a bloody point even though she struggles to breathe. That is not fighting her disease that is just stupid but she has to insult a twelve-year boy with leukemia for taking the lift because OMG! If our amazing Hazel can take the stairs despite her lungs not working, then that boy who only has leukemia can too but oh that must mean he will die soon (Sadly Hazel is correct and no she shows no sympathy). That’s charming, Hazel is extremely prejudiced, just because you are too proud to take the stairs despite it damaging you doesn’t mean you are better than anyone else.

She hasn’t finished insulting others though, the group leader named Patrick needs a dousing too. Patrick was diagnosed with testicular cancer as a child and they were surgically removed but that cancer isn’t good enough for Lady Lancaster as she insults him continually by saying he is divorced, addicted to playing video games and “eking out a meager living by exploiting his cancertastic past”. No, Hazel, he is actually trying to help others but because he had testicular cancer and healthy now means according to you he shouldn’t be there. She also basically says that his life is so meaningless that he may as well die so how dare he offer them hope! She also focuses constantly on the fact he has no testicles, is that cancer beneath other cancers, Hazel?

She does this again later on to a girl who is in remission for cancer in her appendix. The girl is blonde (what is it with YA novels bashing blondes?) so therefore needs to be bitched at. Why you ask? Again this has to be seen to be believed:

“It was Lida the Strong. Lida in remission. Blond, healthy, stout Lida, who swam in her high school swim team. Lida, missing only her appendix, saying my name, saying,

 “Hazel is such an inspiration to me; she really is. She just keeps fighting the battle, waking up every morning and going to war without complaint. She’s so strong. She’s so much stronger than I am. I just wish I had her strength.”

 “Hazel?” Patrick asked. “How does that make you feel?”

 I shrugged and looked over at Lida. “I’ll give you my strength if I can have your remission.” I felt guilty as soon as I said it.

 “I don’t think that’s what she meant,” Patrick said. “I think she…” But I’d stopped listening.””

I was honestly speechless. Why does Hazel have to put down every other cancer patient? I don’t believe it’s because they are in remission as she was a bitch about the young boy who dies. She clearly doesn’t feel guilty as she stopped listening and she is so passive aggressive to say that Lida was only missing her appendix. The last point is that this in another instance where the author is telling me something via a non-character but showing me the complete opposite. Hazel is not what Lida states but is always complaining and she just lays there.

Anyway, we can’t waste any time on character development when the love interest needs introducing! I present: Augustus Waters! Now this books has been lauded as the anti-Twilight and shows a true love story. I am bringing up Twilight because it is very important, this book loves to take jabs at Twilight but then does the exact same crap that Twilight is made fun of for. The first one is the introduction of Augustus, he is a creepy little shit and just sits and stares at Hazel but hey it’s OK! Why you ask? Well:

“Look, let me just say it: He was hot. A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy….well.”

 Just like how if he is ugly then it’s stalking but if he is hot then it’s love! Yeah, so different from Twilight. She stares for a while and shits on the other members. Remember the boy who used the lift, yeah she shits on him again as he said he was OK but Hazel knows best and says clearly not as he used the lift like some weakling. Why am I meant to like this girl?

After the meeting she talks to Augustus and he pulls out that stupid cigarette for a metaphor but that’s a discussion for his character section. He flirts awkwardly and invites her over and she says yes. Dude, you just met him! Anyway the next few chapters are them bonding over this book called “An Imperial Affliction” it is about a teenager named Anna who has cancer but the book ends midsentence. They quote from this thing a lot and it is so pretentious so makes sense that Hazel reads it over again and wishes there was a sequel so she knows what happens. Augustus declares this an amazing book too but he is a pretentious shit too so no shock there.

Anyway, back to Hazel being an arsehole. They have this friend from group called Isaac who had a rare form of cancer that caused him to lose one eye but now it’s back and he will lose the other. He also had a girlfriend named Monika whom he loves and they would say “always” to each other but before his operation she breaks up with him as she can’t cope. I feel for this guy as he will and has lost so much. He is with Augustus and is sobbing when Hazel calls, so Augustus invites her over. Does Hazel help? God no! She has to talk about that stupid book and say to Issac that it’s his fault as he will be blind from cancer. Then her and Augustus start quoting again! She does nothing but bring up Issac’s heartbreak every time she sees him. After his operation he is understandably distraught and thinks it’s Monika but she corrects him. Every bloody time she sees him she will always say that it’s not Monika but Hazel. Stop picking his scabs, you heartless bitch!

One of the most well-known speeches in this books is Hazel’s grenade speech. She doesn’t want people to get close to her as she knows she will die and people will get hurt. I can completely understand that and it would be genuine selflessness if the text backed it up. Spoiler alert! It doesn’t, she is nothing but a selfish cow who sees everyone beneath her apart from Augustus. Her childhood friend Kaitlyn is a caricature, yes, but genuinely cares for Hazel. Hazel can’t be bothered with that as she is so much more intellectual and uses her cancer to get out of spending too much time with her and the only time she speaks to Kaitlyn is to use her for information or because the plot decrees it for plot sake. She is not keeping people distant because she is selfless but because she thinks she is better than all those plebs out there. Why am I supposed to like her?!

The first half of the book is focused on her drive to know what happened to the characters in An Imperial Affliction and what do you know! Augustus has found a way as he has been talking to the author and he will use his wish from the cancer wish foundation thing to take her to Amsterdam. Wow, Hazel is so proactive with her dreams!

So off they go to Amsterdam with only Hazel’s mother as supervision even though she was in the ICU a few weeks ago due to her lungs filling up but the plot says they have to go so they go, medical needs be damned! I have many issues about how cancer is treated in this novel but that will be at the end of this multi part review as I talk a lot, as you can tell!

Once we get to Amsterdam, the author decides that it’s time for some Twilight bashing:

“She shrugged. “I know. I wanted to. I like watching you sleep.”

“Said the creeper.”

 We all know Edward is a creepy shit who watches Bella sleep but did we really need that here? It’s understandable that Hazel’s mother would like to watch her daughter sleep as she doesn’t know how long she has left. It just reads like “SEE, MY BOOK IS BETTER!” It just seems childish to me to bash Twilight especially when your characters are just as vile and you try to dazzle me with your learnings by using bloated and pretentious speech. Grow up!

Hazel and Augustus go to a fancy restaurant in Amsterdam where they have some pretentious food (you are what you eat!) and naturally we must have purple prose spouting Europeans for our little fantasy as the waiter goes on about how Champagne tastes like stars. Hazel shows us another disgusting aspect to her personality. She thinks anyone who believes in an afterlife or religion is stupid. She outright says when Augustus states that he believes in something after death:

“I’d always associated belief in heaven with, frankly, a kind of disengagement. But Gus wasn’t dumb.”

 Fuck you Hazel! Just because you have terminal cancer does not mean you can shit on people’s hopes and beliefs in an afterlife. She goes on about how when you die then you enter oblivion and she says this in the cancer meetings too. Yes, she doesn’t know that Augustus is dying yet but that is a disgusting thing to say to people, especially when they have or are facing imminent death and no, just because you have cancer Hazel does not mean you have the right to put people down for their beliefs. Hmm… I recall another character who shit upon another person’s personal beliefs on souls and the afterlife. Oh that’s right, Bella Swan! Hmm… I can so see why this is praised as anti-Twilight and that Hazel is a better role model than Bella.

We come to the next day where they finally get to meet Captain Pretentious himself! Hazel decides to dress just like the character and I must say that even though the author is beating me to death with how smart Hazel is she may have really thought about if her dressing like that is appropriate. Think about it, she goes on and on about how this book depicts cancer differently and how it shows the true struggle plus she reads this book over and over again so she knows it well. Also, it is stated that Peter van Houten only wrote the one book and became a recluse. Put all this together and it is incredibly obvious that van Houten knew or had a child that died of cancer and this book was an outlet for him. So she dresses like the character, she is meant to be oh so smart but it is obvious that it will backfire. None of this enters her thick skull and it gets worse.

God I hate this book. Anyway, Hazel’s mother doesn’t go which is annoying as she is described as smothering but when the plot demands then she just leaves them be. So off they trot to Peter van Houten’s house and well he is described in unflattering terms such as he is fat and gross. Again, such a charmer our Hazel is. It turns out he was set up by his assistant and was not expecting them, he said in his letters to visit just to give them hope as he never expected that they would travel there. Oh and he is raging alcoholic too, it’s obvious that we are told to hate him. He is deeply uncomfortable with them being in his home but fuck his feelings! Goddammit, Hazel wants her sequel! Houten is all pretentious but won’t give them answers and basically says they expect pity and everyone to bow to them (you have no idea van Houten). He also says that their cancer is evolutions way of weeding out the weak from the gene pool. Hazel is outraged by this and normally she would have every damn right to be angry and disgusted about this, however, Hazel herself has said this countless of times and seems to believe this. So is this a double standard? Everyone else is a weak specimen if they get cancer but not Hazel Fucking Lancaster!

She demands to know what happens to Anna’s mother and if she marries this Dutch Tulip Man. He refuses to say and she gets so angry that she swipes his drink out his hand which smacks him in the face. I know this is an obvious plot tactic to represent Hazel’s worries of how her mother will be once she dies. This could have been done well but once again due to previous characterisation it just seems like Hazel throwing a bratty tantrum because van Houten won’t give her what she wants. I said before about how it is obvious that van Houten used that book as a way of dealing with grief. It is even more obvious here, he is dependent on booze, he is a recluse and he does not want to talk about this book and what happens afterwards. Just because he was tricked into meeting them does not mean he has to tell Hazel anything. This is clearly very painful for him and he is seeing a girl with an oxygen tank dressed just like the character who died standing in front of him. That is painful but no, he is our antagonist and because he doesn’t bow down to our protagonists then he is a nasty shit. There is another YA series that has a character with a tragic background but because they don’t lick the protagonist’s boots then they are shit on. I wonder what this series is called, it’s on the tip of my tongue.

Anyway, they storm off, ansgstly of course. It is decided that they really should see some of the city so off they trot to the Anne Frank Museum. I hate this section, it is the most disgusting and disrespectful thing I have ever read. We have some foreshadowing that Augustus may not be as healthy as he seems but Hazel doesn’t have time for any of that shit. She walks up the steep stairs and talks in bloated prose about her lungs but gives no thought to Augustus with his prosthetic leg. Again, if this was any other character I would understand but as it’s Hazel and she is a selfish cow then it jars me.

Now the bit I hate. While Otto Frank is talking via video about the loss and pain he felt losing his entire family and friends to the Holocaust, Hazel realizes she is horny for Augustus and makes out with him there and then. Oh but it’s OK as Anne apparently kissed someone there and Hazel is going to die soon. FUCK YOU!!!! No that does not make this OK, it is disrespectful and vile behavior. Yes, Anne lived and kissed there but that house has become a memorial for all those who died in Holocaust, especially as their remains weren’t recovered due to how the concentration camps ran. People go there to pay their respects to those who lost their lives and for those who lost loved ones in horrific circumstances. There may be no one interred there but it is a memorial for lives lost. Would it be respectful for me to make out with someone at Ground Zero? Hey, I’m sure there were people who met in the Twin Towers and got married so that makes it OK? No it doesn’t! It is disgusting and I was outraged when I read it. No amount of arguments will ever tell me that this is OK and if anyone says “Oh but they have cancer!”, NO! It is not OK to do this.

So do those around them get angry, disgusted and outraged? Of course not as realism is for losers. Nope, everyone bloody cheers and claps them so they bow to their adoring audience. I am so angry! This is repulsive. End of!

After that tripe, they decide that a Holocaust memorial turns them on so much that they go off to Augustus’ room to have sex. Augustus is nervous due to his amputation but Hazel basically tells him to get the fuck over himself and get to it. We basically fade to black and good Lord it sounds like Hazel had no fun at all. I’m not saying the first time is earth shattering and this was meant to sound awkward but my God. She just sounds like she is glad that that is over with. You and me both, Hazel, I couldn’t wait for this horrible chapter to be over with. However, we got to get a bit of Twilight bashing in by commenting how no headboards were broken. It is known that the author was jabbing Twilight with that comment. Well that is stupid as it makes sense the headboard was broken as Edward is a super strong vampire so it’s logical. If you want to bash them about their sex scene, then go for how it was the most awesomeness sex ever considering he is a block of ice. I don’t like Twilight but this is really sounding childish.

I honestly did not think Hazel’s section but would be this long but when I started getting my thoughts down well it became clear just how much I hated this character. Now to the last portion of this book.

You would think there would be more lead up to the reveal that Augustus is terminal. Nope, Hazel’s Mum disappears again so they go to talk. I genuinely feel for him but some sympathy is withdrawn (I’ll explain in part 2). Hazel hasn’t got the emotional range to feel much except how this affects her. She is such a selfish bitch.

Now the next portion really bothers me, it is so rushed and each chapter lasts only a few pages and sometimes only two. I get the feeling that the author doesn’t want to write about the actual ramifications and physical effects of terminal cancer but it is so jarring and skips so much that I may have got whiplash. This is also the section that proves Hazel to be the nasty piece of work she is. Why I hear you ask? Well her One Twu Luv, who is dying from cancer, the man who could really use her support? Yeah, he doesn’t get it. The first thing we get after this reveal is Hazel insulting Augustus’ mother’s cooking to her face as apparently the asparagus in Amsterdam was much better. Oh, she is just warming up.

The scene that really got to me was when he had wet the bed. She was all supportive when he looked like the hottest guy ever and popping wheelies in his wheelchair but when he suffers from humiliating effects of cancer then she won’t bother. She goes to his room where he is incoherent and has soiled himself so instead of staying with him and reassuring him like how I like to think most people would. Nope, not Hazel. She calls his parents servants to deal with her dying Twu Luv while she goes upstairs to wait for Augustus to be deemed acceptable to suit her highness. This really makes me angry as later on we will see her attitude to other people in Augustus’ life yet she won’t even sit with him and reassure him. Hazel acting disgusted by the unsavory aspects of terminal cancer and she should be ashamed of herself. His girlfriend acting like that would look to Augustus that she is repulsed by him and can’t even put her own feelings aside just once to comfort him.

Augustus continues to deteriorate and Hazel has to come and get him from a gas station due to an unexpected health issue (this will be discussed in depth when I write about Augustus). Once again, while he is crying she still focuses on how he doesn’t have his crooked smile and looks. With any other character, then I could understand and feel heartbroken for her as she is seeing her love wasting away but because she disappeared when he needed her in humiliating circumstances then I am dubious as it just feels like she is lamenting that he is no longer hot.

Another big point in this section is how Augustus promised to write Hazel a sequel to “An Imperial Affliction”.  Now this could have been lovely, they could have decided to work on this together as this book brought them together and got them to Amsterdam where they declared their love. This would have been a lasting memento for Hazel to cherish after he was gone as they had worked on it together and used their last days together doing something to signify what brought them together. Pfft! That would require Hazel doing something which is hard. She just prefers to roll over and whine. Nope, she wants to know when she will get her sequel, goddammit! What, you’re dying a horrible death, Augustus? Fuck that, Hazel Lancaster demands a sequel so you better hurry the fuck up as she doesn’t like to wait. I hate you Hazel.

*Sigh* I hate this book so much. So Hazel has a day off because the plot demands it but lo who should call? That’s right Augustus and he wants her to write a eulogy and to meet him at the church where they hold the cancer group. She proceeds to have an argument with her parents as they are just concerned that she is overdoing it and how they never see her. Hazel proceeds to have a tantrum when her Dad just innocently says that he wants to spend some time with her. It’s too horrible not to quote:

“Well get a terminal disease, Dad, and then I’ll stay home more”

 She then proceeds to tell her Mum to stop smothering her and to get herself a life. Again if done right this could have worked but her parents are just showing concern and if she just explained what Augustus said then I’m sure it would be fine. Nope, instead she has to throw a bratty tantrum.

We finally get to the prefuneral where Augustus wants Hazel and Isaac to talk about how amazing he is. I will go into depth about how this effects Augustus’ character but right now it’s about Hazel. Her speech is pretentious, naturally. There isn’t much to say except her banging on about maths. I just find it rather hilarious what she says in the end:

“There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I’m likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.”

 Why do I find this funny? Well, it sounds oddly familiar.

“Forever and forever and forever,” he murmured. 

“That sounds exactly right to me.”

And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever.”

Breaking Dawn

 Again I find it interesting that the last lines of Breaking Dawn are mocked as being so cheesy but this is seen as so romantic. They speak like this all the bloody time!! Yet this is great literature with amazing prose but Twilight is mocked? Again I don’t like Twilight but I don’t see how people can say that they love the writing, speeches and prose in this book but laugh at Twilight. They are the same! Need more proof? Well tough, let’s play spot the difference:

“He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.””

 The Fault in Our Stars

 “He waited, studying my face as he spoke to make sure I was really listening. “Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars — points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.””

New Moon

 That prose is exactly the same and both of those are meant to be spontaneous declarations of love but it sounds so fake and affected. So the point I am trying to make is that I do not see how people laud this book as amazing modern literature but laugh at Twilight. The heroines are just as selfish and horrible as each other and the prose is exactly the same. It is bloated, affected and doesn’t sound natural. I wouldn’t be making these comparisons if the author didn’t make childish jabs at Twilight but then have the audacity to have the stupid crooked smile and the same purple prose.

So after this prefuneral, Augustus dies eight days later nicely off screen so Hazel isn’t inconvenienced with that. The next few chapters are so sterile that I have no feelings of grief from Hazel. She goes on about drowning but she does that a lot so I’m still not getting the gravity of the situation. I know people grieve in different ways but she only seems to care about herself or is just very flat that she just doesn’t seem to care.

However, as this is Hazel she feels the need to be vile. She goes onto his Facebook account and his page is flooded with messages of condolences. Does Hazel take comfort from the fact he was well loved. Of course not! Comfort is for peasants and she needs to piss all over that. She sits and bangs on about how no one knew him like she did which is stupid as these people knew him for years and she knew him for a couple of months. I can understand getting annoyed when random people come out of the wood work but she doesn’t know if they were close so she can’t judge them. Judge them she does, she thinks because Augustus didn’t talk about them or see him in the short time they were together then they are clearly just attention seekers. Maybe they didn’t see him because he closed himself off due to his loss of pride due to his condition? He may have felt like a grenade after all and trying to limit the damage. After all his girlfriend treated him with disgust for wetting himself so maybe he wanted his friends to remember him the way he was. None of that crosses her mind. She says that she isn’t mad at them but I think she is bullshitting because she decided to comment on this Facebook post:

“Just heard that Gus Waters died after a lengthy battle with cancer. Rest in peace, buddy.”

 Nothing but a warm message of condolence, nothing to take offence from. Well, not if you’re Hazel Lancaster.

“We live in a universe devoted to the creation, and eradication, of awareness. Augustus Waters did not die after a lengthy battle with cancer. He died after a lengthy battle with human consciousness, a victim—as you will be—of the universe’s need to make and unmake all that is possible.”

 You nasty little shit! It meant so much to Augustus to have mattered in life (this will be discussed in length later). He told you how upset he was to die without doing something worth remembering and how he felt dying of cancer wasn’t a noble death. If you cared so much about him then you would never have said this. Let alone post this as a reply to someone sending a condolence. She is also an attention whore as she sits and refreshes in the hopes of a rebuttal. I hate you so much.

I seriously can’t believe how much I have written about just one character and I still have the funeral to discuss. Well no time like the present. Hazel and her family arrive at the church and within a page I am already raging again. I’m not paraphrasing as this needs to be seen:

“”He loved you so much,” Gus’s mom said. “He really did. It wasn’t—it wasn’t puppy love or anything,” she added, as if I didn’t know that.”

 Why can’t you just take a heartfelt comment?! Why do you always have sound like an ungrateful little brat who needs a slap. Anyway, she decides to go to the open casket to see his body while nastily bitching how no one else has touched him. Excuse me? You just arrived! How do you know if anyone else has touched his corpse? It’s a pathetic excuse to show the audience how amazing and true their love is as she is only one to touch his icky body, considering she ran a mile when he wet himself. It is also stupid as open caskets are very common in America so that the mourners have a chance to see and touch the deceased, if people were so freaked out by it then why would open caskets be so common. This is just another attempt at beating us to death with how special Hazel is. She places the cigarettes in his casket (again there will be a lengthy discussion over this) and takes her seat. She bitches throughout the service because OMG!! no one knows Augustus like she does and these plebs just piss her off.

Peter van Houten is there so he can be forgiven by the all mighty Hazel but she just tells him to go away even though she does find out that his daughter died of cancer and her dressed just like the character triggered his grief. Does Hazel show sympathy? BAHAHA!! Of course not.

We learn that Augustus may have written something for Hazel and she thinks it’s the sequel. So naturally she barges in to the Waters’ home and wants her sequel NOW! She naturally insults his parents just for existing but doesn’t find anything. Turns out that he sent something to van Houten but *le gasp* it’s not the sequel but a eulogy for Hazel. He just whittles on in pretentious prose about how Hazel is the most specialist and best person for everest. It made me want to puke as once again I was reminded about all the crappy prose that everyone in Twilight said about Bella when it was clearly bullshit.

Also Augustus basically says that Hazel is right about wanting to actually do something worthwhile with your life despite your disease. Oh she doesn’t say you should, oh no no. She basically says why bother doing anything? It is nothing to do with the grenade metaphor, she is just a pessimistic swine who thinks everyone else with cancer should be just pessimistic as she is so they may as well roll over and die.

Throughout this book she has done nothing but whine and be pretentious. It was Augustus who contacted Peter van Houten and it was both him and her parents who set the trip up so she could meet him. She just lays there like a useless lump while everyone makes her dreams come true. Tell me again why I should laud Hazel as a strong female protagonist but condemn Bella? They are both useless and let their man do it all for them.

Thankfully the book ends after that and I felt nothing but relief that I finished it and how much I hated it. I’ll do proper final thoughts after I tackle Augustus and how this book deals with the highly emotive topic of child cancer. However, I stand by that I loathe Hazel’s character, she does nothing but shit on other people while thinking she is so much better than the rest of those peasants she knows. She is pretentious, narrow minded and selfish. I don’t care that she has cancer as that does not excuse her horrible behavior. Well I need a rest so I shall see you all for part 2.


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